The Four Things I Hope My Daughter Has Learned From Me
Much has been written in an attempt to better understand the relationship between mothers and daughters. It makes sense when you consider the uniquely special and complicated nature of the mother daughter bond. For example, psychologists have consistently attempted to identify why mothers and daughters can be best friends one minute, and engage in fierce conflict the next. I think the answer is pretty simple. The love between mothers and daughters runs incredibly deep, and we often see our strengths and weaknesses in each other.
Like most mothers and daughters my daughter Liv and I have had our share of challenging times but as she has become a woman in her own right, I am awe struck by how remarkable she is, how much we understand each other and how it is possible to love another human being as I love her.
I often find myself thinking about what I hope she’s learned from me. What I want more than anything is for her to learn from my mistakes and triumphs, my experiences, good and bad.
Be brave, have courage
Maya Angelou famously said “Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can't practice any other virtue consistently”. Women especially are faced with challenges that require strength, courage, and bravery. I’ve tried to model these qualities for Liv since she was a little girl, especially during times of struggle.
As much as we parents pray that our children’s lives will be perpetually happy and peaceful, life inevitably presents everyone with challenges. I wish I had known how fast life speeds by and how important it is to love life every day, even when things are not going as you wish. There is always beauty in life. There are always reasons to love the life you have.
Wherever Liv goes in her life, and even when I’m gone, I hope she knows that I’m always with her. I hope she carries the love I have for her in her heart and that it gives her strength and comfort. My spirit will always be there, right beside her.
Know how amazing you are
Women are often so self critical they never take the time to appreciate how spectacular they are. This seems to have only gotten worse with the advent of social media which causes women to perpetually compare themselves to others. I hope my daughter knows she’s beautiful, smart, strong, compassionate and absolutely fierce. I hope she doesn’t waste a single day of her life feeling bad about herself or being self critical.
Someday, maybe Liv will share this with her own daughter. I can’t think of a legacy I’d rather leave.